State of Grace
by BikerChick101
Summary: Post season 6 NS Gossip Girl fic; Starts after the DS wedding, follows the events from my story '5 years later' but Nate doesn't stop the wedding Disclaimer : I do not own 'Gossip Girl' or Taylor Swifts song 'State of Grace'
1. Chapter 1

"_I do."_

"_Do you take Dan Humphrey to be your lawfully wedded husband?"_

"_I … yes … I do … of course I do."_

"Uncle Nate, think fast," Henry screamed from across the room throwing one of his bouncy balls over to his uncle.

"Huh?" Nate looked up too late and the ball hit the side of his head, bouncing off and hitting one off Blair's vases, this time Nate was paying attention and grabbed the vase before it fell to the floor and shattered into pieces.

Nate looked up at the four year old to see him covering his eyes and waiting for a crash, when it stayed silent he slowly uncovered them and dramatically fell to the floor in relief because the disaster was avoided.

"I saw that, don't throw things in the house," Blair said as she made her way through the room.

"Yes momma," Henry said quickly as Blair past him and patted his head, she looked over at Nate almost staring him down and he held his hands up in surrender.

"Come on, you're in your PJ's already, time to sleep, it's been a long day," Blair said holding out her hand to her son, she was right, even Nate was exhausted and he wasn't part of the cleaning crew neither did he send off all the guests like Chuck and Blair did.

"But Uncle Nate's here and it's still early," Henry said pouting.

"Yeah Blair it's still early and I'm here," Nate said pouting as well and Blair just shook her head and laughed.

"Fine but I expect you to be paying more attention Nathaniel," Blair called out.

"Yes ma'am," Nate said softly and Henry laughed at him. "Come on little man, let's go to your room where we can't break anything."

Henry squealed as Nate picked him up and threw the little boy over his shoulder to carry him to his room. "Daddy!"

Nate turned to find Chuck looking at them amusedly, "Don't let me spoil the fun," he said with a chuckle as Nate pulled Henry up and placed him on the ground so he could stand on his own. "Nathaniel we haven't spoken to you since you arrived this morning, we should go for a drink."

"Sure, do you want to leave now?" Nate asked looking down at Henry.

"No, you and Henry enjoy your bonding time," Chuck said smiling at the excitement that popped up on both his son and best friends face at the prospect of a few more minutes of playtime. "We'll leave in half an hour."

"Don't make it sound like we're leaving you out," Nate said laughing and Henry nodded quickly.

"Hmmm," was all Chuck said with a smirk before turning and walking in the direction Blair had just gone.

"Come on Uncle Nate," Henry said tugging at his sleeve and running to his room. Nate smiled and followed, he could never be in a bad mood with his godson around no matter how torn he felt inside.

"Do you want to play with the bouncy ball again," Nate asked taking off his tie and throwing it onto the dresser before sitting on the floor next to Henry. "Only this time maybe not aim for my head," Nate said making a face and rubbing the side of his head and Henry laughed.

"It hit you on the other side Uncle Nate," he said giggling and Nate quickly switched hands.

"I knew that, I just wanted to see if you did," Nate said covering and Henry laughed again, going to his toy box and pulling out a huge box from behind it. "What's that little man?"

"It's the train set you got me for Christmas," Henry said dragging it to his uncle and opening it.

"Why don't we wait until the weekend to build it? I'll ask your mom and dad if you can stay with me and we'll set this up in my living room how cool would that be," Nate said tickling the little boy and looking at the mess of pieces in the box that Henry wanted him to help with. "We're not going to have time to finish it before your bedtime."

"But you're sad now Uncle Nate," Henry said looking at his uncle curiously and Nate looked at him a little startled at his words. "And this will make you happy."

"What makes you say I'm sad?" Nate asked throwing his arm around Henry and pulling the little boy close to his side, he figured he shouldn't be surprised at how observant his godson was, considering who his parents are.

"I heard momma and daddy talking, they said you were sad coz Aunty S got married today," Henry said and Nate smiled, making a note to let Chuck know that his discussions with Blair were falling on little ears. "Are you sad Uncle Nate?"

"No way, I'm never sad when you're around, I'm happy now, see," Nate said smiling wide for Henry's benefit, Henry looked at him curiously and nodded. "But you shouldn't worry about all of the old people problems, you should worry about how to fit _this_ with this," Nate said holding up two pieces of the train track.

"Ok," Henry said reaching out to take the pieces, Nate could tell that the little boy wasn't satisfied with the answer he got but how would he explain the history he shares with Serena and the reason he's sad to a four year old, he has enough trouble dissecting it himself.

"Hey look here, Aunty S and I are best friends, like me and your daddy," Nate said and Henry looked at him funnily waiting for him to make his point. "I'm just a little bit sad that I'm not going to see her as much as I used to," because that was the truth he didn't want to lie to Henry but he couldn't tell him much more and he really wasn't going to see Serena now that she was married to Dan, at least not the way he wants to see her, he'll never be able to just look at her or spend hours alone with her because she was _married_ to Dan.

"Will _I_ see her I much as I used to?" Henry asked, his eyes going wide at the thought of not seeing Serena as often as he'd like.

"Of course you will, you know Aunty S will always make time for you, you are her baby boy," Nate said squeezing Henry and mentally scolding himself because he was not saying anything right.

"I know," Henry said smiling and then yawning. "She said I'm her baby too coz momma's her sister and daddy is her brother like Uncle Erik is but I mustn't tell him she said that."

Nate smiled and nodded, looking at the open box in front of them. "Let's put all this away and I'll read you a story, we can show your mom that if you stay with me this weekend I can make sure you get to sleep," Nate said standing up and pulling Henry with him.

"But I stay with you all the time," Henry said frowning because he didn't know why they needed to show that his uncle could take care of him.

"I know but after we almost broke her vase I think we should be on extra good behavior," Nate told him and Henry thought about it for a second before agreeing. "And then this weekend we can have fun."

"Yeah and we can build the train," Henry said smiling excitedly, his worries about Nate's sadness and Serena's absence lost for the moment.

"And we can play video games and go for ice-cream and we can get your dad to come over and have a boys night," Nate said pulling down the sheets on Henry's bed and waiting for him to get in. "How does that sound?"

"That sounds cool," Henry said jumping in and covering himself.

"Ok so which story do you want?" Nate asked and Henry pointed to the fairytale book at the end of the shelf, the one with a story for each day of the year.

"Is he asleep?" Blair asked poking her head into the room halfway through Nate's story.

"Yeah, yeah I think so," Nate said looking at Henry.

"You didn't have to make him sleep Nate," Blair said switching the light off. "Just tire him out enough for me."

"I just thought I'd be helpful," Nate said as they crept out of Henry's room.

"Chuck's waiting for you downstairs," Blair said giving him a look that told him she knew he was lying to her about everything he felt.

"Why aren't you prying?" Nate asked with a smile, he knew from Henry that she knew how he felt but Blair loves her reasons and she would want those from him.

"Because you wouldn't tell me anything if I did," Blair said shrugging. "But you'd tell Chuck and he'll tell me."

"Of course," Nate said chuckling as he made his way downstairs, he put his tie back on and found his coat before finding his best friend. "Blair tells me it's your turn to interrogate me."

"I call it drinks," Chuck said slapping Nate on his back as they walked to the elevator. "Makes it sound less intimidating."

"Henry thinks I'm sad," Nate said as they sat at the bar nursing their drinks 10 minutes later.

"Now what will make him think that?" Chuck asks smirking.

"You and Blair actually," Nate said and watched Chuck's face twist into confusion, it didn't happen often and this may be only the second time ever that Nate's been the one to bring that look to Chuck's face, it was oddly satisfying.

"I don't follow," Chuck said raising an eyebrow at Nate.

"He heard the two of you talking," Nate said with a half shrug. "It's his new mission to make sure I'm happy."

"That's my boy," Chuck said to himself proudly and Nate smiled. "What does he have planned?"

"We're going to assemble that train set I got him," Nate said and Chuck grimaced at the mention of the toy. "What?"

"Where did you find that thing Nathaniel?" he asked. "There are so many parts, he's just going to lose all of them before you have a chance to do anything with it."

Nate laughed and shook his head. "We'll take care not to, you can supervise," Nate said and Chuck nodded ok. "My point was that you guys need to be more careful with what you say now."

"I didn't know you were making a point," Chuck said with a smirk, teasing Nate and Nate sighed. "We'll talk to him about the horrors of eavesdropping tomorrow if it makes you happy."

"Very," Nate said draining his glass and Chuck shook his head, Nate worried way too much about Henry.

"Now you can tell me exactly _why_ you're sad," Chuck said and Nate sighed again, hanging his head and chuckling to himself. "I know it's not just because Serena married Humphrey because you would have done something about that if it was."

"She called me, this afternoon before the wedding she called me, she sounded … different, unsure or scared or something and then she changed, she pretended like she was perfectly fine, it was like she needed to convince herself to do it," Nate said calling the bartender over to fill up his glass again. "I should have stopped the wedding, or spoke to her face to face before she left with him."

"What exactly would you have said Nathaniel?" Chuck asked, he knew that Nate was set against telling him things but he also knew how much his best friend needed to get all this off his chest.

"I don't know but maybe she could have reassured me that she was ok with getting married to him and maybe if I heard her be sure about this I wouldn't be feeling this … this … afraid for her," Nate said burying his head in his hands.

"You think Humphrey is going to hurt her?" Chuck asked, his voice tense because if Nate had even the slightest worry of Serena being in danger he would have people following her every move so he knew when to step in.

"Not physically," Nate said watching the grip on Chuck's glass loosen as he relaxed. "She just … I know how she gets when they fight, I've picked her up enough times to know how low he can push her."

"That marriage can end," Chuck said and in his mind he thought of how inevitable it was that it did. "In fact Blair and I have a bet on exactly how long it's going to last."

Nate didn't say anything he just stared at his best friend incredulously.

"They have broken up so many times over the past few years that it's inevitable," Chuck said with a slight chuckle. "I don't know how a marriage was supposed to survive that when a simple relationship couldn't, it doesn't help that there was only two months between the engagement and wedding."

"But she's happy now because she's with him and she thinks marriage is forever," Nate said thinking of the way Serena smiled when she and Dan were happy. "Dan has always been the love of her life, it doesn't matter that she's always been the love of mine, it's never mattered … and now it never will."

"You are much too selfless Nathaniel," Chuck said staring at Nate and wondering how he could do what he's doing, to this day Chuck couldn't think about the time in his life when Blair was supposed to marry a prince and her romance with Humphrey, it was the darkest time he'd ever been through and he knew he handled his emotions much better than Nate did. At least he internalized them better, Nate had never been good at masking his feelings but not when it came to Serena Chuck realized, Nate was always able to mask his feelings for her and the further she slipped from him the better Nate got at it, if Chuck wasn't looking for it he would have missed the sadness in his best friends eyes every time she was mentioned.

"Yeah I know," Nate said. "Next week, before they come back from their honeymoon, I'm leaving."

"Where to?" Chuck asked, he knew this was coming.

"Not sure yet, I just need to clear my mind," Nate said shrugging. "I'm not ready to see her again, _them_ again, at least not for a little while."

"I understand, Blair may try to stop you," Chuck warned him, his wife was not as understanding as he and his son has never been away from either of his godparents for longer than two weeks at a time. "And you know Henry won't let you go for long that easy."

"I know," Nate said stretching his arms out in front of him. "That's why I'm going to steal him this weekend, you and Blair look like you need time to yourselves anyway and I want to have some time with my godson before I tell him my plans."

"That sounds fine," Chuck said contemplating telling Nate his own secret. "Blair and I have some news that we wanted to tell everyone when Serena got back but you look as if you could use some good news right now."

Nate smiled wryly and nodded at his best friend, "You've got that right."

"Blair's pregnant," Chuck said and Nate's eyes widened in surprise before he laughed and hugged Chuck.

"Congrats man, this is so exciting," he said breaking away and slapping Chuck on the back. "Baby Bass number 2, I can't wait."

"Well you're going to have to wait another 7 months," Chuck said smiling.

"This was definitely the best news," Nate said with a grin almost as big as Chucks, he was really happy that two of his best friends were getting everything they ever wanted. "As long as I'm still the godfather, I don't care if Dan's part of the family, I call dibs on godfather."

"You have nothing to worry about there, Nathaniel," Chuck said laughing and shaking his head at Nate for even thinking that he'd make Dan Humphrey his child's godfather. "Nothing at all."

* * *

**A/N : Isn't Henry the most perfect little boy ever? Yeah I write him adorable because in my mind he's super adorable and perfect lol **

**Hey guys I'm back with my post season 6 story, this story is basically everything that happened in the show and my story '5 years later' so if you haven't read it, you should, it basically fills in whatever the 5 year gap left out, and this story starts from after the wedding where Nate doesn't stop it **

**I haven't worked out all the little details with this story so it may seem a little ridiculous in places but just bare with me please**

**I have a programming exam in the morning but I got onto fanfiction and realized how long its been since I posted anything and I did promise you guys a post s6 fic, my exams only end at the end of this month so the next update may only be after my last exam**

**Thank you guys so much for all your support with 'Those Blue Eye's', I'm thinking of doing another Au-ish story in the future hehe. Please let me know what you think about this chapter and I really hope you enjoy it **

**Until Next time (^^,) **


	2. Chapter 2

Serena groaned as her phone rang, waking her up from her deep sleep, she blindly reached forward and grabbed it from her nightstand cracking one eye open to touch the screen to answer the call.

"'lo?" Serena mumbled into the phone through a yawn, her eyes slipping shut again and the fuzziness in her brain from her sleep threatening to take over when Blair's voice comes through the speaker.

"Serena, are you still asleep?" Blair asks obviously not expecting the blond to be asleep at this hour.

"Yes," Serena says, frowning when the sleep starts slipping away from her. "My time, your time, not the same."

"S, I know where you are, I'm not ignorant to the time," Blair says and Serena can picture her rolling her eyes, she rolls over and stretches her arm out to touch Dan but he's already out of bed. Serena's frown gets deeper as she sits up and looks around the room for her husband. "S are you listening to me?"

"What?" Serena asked shaking her head and wincing when she realized Blair was talking and she wasn't listening.

"I wanted to know if you were having a good time," Blair says blowing out a breath obviously exhausted at trying to talk to her half asleep best friend.

"I'm sorry B, I'm still getting up," Serena apologizes, yawning and leaning her head back against the headboard. "Is there something you wanted?"

"Am I disturbing you?" Blair asks and Serena can hear the 'I don't care, you _will_ make time for me' tone in her voice. "Because I haven't spoken to you in over a week and I just wanted to know if my best friend was still alive."

"I'm alive, we're coming back home tomorrow, yey," Serena says through another yawn.

"You could put more effort into sounding excited," Blair said dryly and Serena giggled.

"Where's Henry?" Serena asked happily and Blair sighed.

"He's out with Chuck, apparently mommy wasn't cool enough to go on this outing," Blair said obviously disappointed that her son left her out of his plans.

"Aw B, I'm sure he's just planning something special for you," Serena said biting her lip. "He likes surprises."

"I know but it still hurts," Blair said sighing overdramatically. "When you get back to New York I demand that you come straight to the penthouse."

"You demand it?" Serena asked amusedly. "B you can't just demand that we come to your place, I know for a fact that Dan will want to go straight home and we'll be tired from the flight…"

"Oh Serena, you sound like you've slept enough on this holiday," Blair said and Serena rolled her eyes.

"Honeymoon," she corrected

"Whatever," Blair said. "You should be rested enough to come here because I have things to discuss with you, none of which concerns Humphrey so he can go to your … loft if he wants," Blair said reluctantly, then added the next part in a happier voice. "Henry is really excited to see you, he misses you."

"B you know I can't say no now," Serena whined. "You promised you wouldn't pull the Henry card."

"I'm not pulling any cards," Blair said smugly knowing she had Serena now. "I'm just letting you know how much your godson missed you."

"I miss him too," Serena said with a smile, thinking of the four year old always brought a smile to her face.

"So you'll come straight to us tomorrow?" Blair asked and Serena could hear in Blair's voice how much she wanted this.

"Yeah B of course I'll be there," Serena said, if Blair really wanted her to be there how could she say no. "Is there any particular reason you need me there so badly?"

"Can't a girl just want to spend the afternoon with her best friend who she hasn't seen in a few weeks," Blair said and Serena giggled.

"I've barely been gone two weeks B," Serena said and Blair sighed.

"Just be here tomorrow and make sure you're awake," Blair told her. "Bye S."

"Bye B," Serena said cutting the call and groaning, she placed her phone back on the table and covered her head with a pillow. She was drifting off to sleep again when she thought of something, where was Dan?

She reluctantly pulled the covers off her and got off the bed, stretching and walking over to her window, it wasn't too early in the morning but it definitely wasn't as late as Blair made it sound. Serena smiled and opened the door to her balcony, dialing Dan's number and frowning when it went straight to voicemail.

She sat down heavily on one of the chairs outside and closed her eyes again, she really shouldn't be this tired, but she's sitting on the warm cushion of the outside chair and the sun feels so good on her skin that she finds it impossible not to close her eyes and enjoy it. She's actually dreading going back to New York now, it was late winter there meaning that the sun she's experiencing in her paradise will just be a dream when she gets back.

"Hey sleepy," Dan says, his voice breaking through the quiet of the morning and she smiles as she listens to him take a seat on the chair opposite her and sigh. "When did you wake up?"

"Blair woke me up a few minutes ago, I think," Serena said cracking an eye open to see her husband watching her. "Where did you disappear to?"

"Alessandra called me, she's excited about one of the idea's I pitched," Dan said giddily rubbing his hands together. "Which of course means she wants anything I've written immediately."

"Does this mean I can't persuade you to stay here a little longer?" Serena asked sitting up, Dan laughed and shook his head no. "It's fine, Blair has demanded my presence at her house when we arrive."

"Demanded?" Dan asked and Serena laughed and nodded. "I thought that was normal Blair talk?"

"Nah she's all mad that Henry left her at home so he could spend the day with Chuck," Serena said walking over so she could sit on Dan's lap and wrap her arms around his neck. "So she's going to be a little more demanding until her baby tells her that mommy is better than daddy," Serena said giggling at how often that happened.

"Well that is tomorrow's problem," Dan said leaning down to brush his lips against hers. "We still have one more day here before we have to deal with anything New York again."

Serena smiled and kissed him, she wished New York was as far away from her mind as it should be, but there were things, _people_, that she just couldn't stop thinking about. Serena pushed all the thoughts as far back into her mind as she could, today was the final day of her honeymoon and she was going to enjoy it without any troubles if it killed her.

* * *

Serena walked into Blair and Chuck's home feeling refreshed and happy, Dan shuffled in behind her, he was not the biggest fan of the Bass brood but they were her family which meant that they were now his family too.

"Blair," Serena called holding Dan's hand and pulling him with her to the next room, they had their luggage taken back to their apartment where their housekeeper would sort it all out. "Chuck, Henry?"

"Where is everyone?" Dan asked looking around the quiet house. "Maybe they aren't here, we should go," he said turning back toward the door and Serena grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"They're here Dan, Blair told me she'd be here when I got here," Serena told him smiling when she heard little footsteps running toward the stairs. "Henry's coming."

"Aunty S, you're back," Henry called as he ran down the stairs. Serena walked to the bottom of the stairs so she could grab him when he jumped from the bottom step into her waiting arms. "I missed you."

"I missed you more," Serena said hugging him tightly and kissing his cheek loudly. "What did you do without me for two whole weeks?"

"I stayed with Uncle Nate and we built the train set he bought me," Henry said, his eyes shining with excitement. "It was so big and he said he won't break it up so it's gonna stay on his floor forever."

"Wow really?" Serena asked over exaggerating the shock on her face for the child and Henry nodded squirming so he could be set down. "Where's mom and dad?"

"They're upstairs in their room, mommy wasn't feeling well," Henry said pulling on Serena's hands so she could bend down to his level. "Do you want me to call them?"

"Could you do that for me please?" she asked and Henry nodded again, accepting another kiss on the cheek from his aunt before scampering back upstairs to call his parents.

"I don't get how this co-parenting thing works," Dan said from the other end of the room and Serena stood up again smoothing down her dress.

"What co-parenting thing?" she asked confused as she walked toward him and sat on one of the chairs next to him.

"With Henry, it's like he has four parents and shared between you," Dan said and Serena frowned, what in the world was he going on about. "You and Nate treat him like you would your own child he spends almost every other weekend with either one of you, it's almost as if he's a child of divorce."

"He's the baby of the family Dan, he's the first baby born in our circle since Erik of course we're going to treat him like we can't get enough of him," Serena said incredulously. "What did you expect?"

"It's just that he spends as much or maybe even more time with his godparents than he does with his actual parents," Dan said and Serena rolled her eyes, she just want to go back to the week before were the weather was perfect and they agreed on everything and the judgment in his voice didn't grind on her nerves no matter what he said.

She was going to respond when she heard Blair and Chuck's voices float down to her from the top of the stairs and a ball of energy flew right into her lap. Serena laughed and tickled the little boy, keeping her arms tight around him before turning to Dan and sticking her tongue out at him, she was too happy to be upset with his disapproval at how close she was to Henry, she knew they'd probably discuss it again but there was a bigger chance of it being pushed under the rug with the rest of their problems and disagreements.

"Henry, what have I told you about running in the house," Blair scolded lightly. "You could have gotten hurt."

"Hey sis," Chuck said stepping forward to hug his sister, picking his son up as well so the two girls could hug. "Humphrey."

"Chuck," Dan said holding his hand up as a greeting, Serena sighed it had been forever since they met Dan, five years since the Gossip Girl announcement and a few weeks since their wedding and still he and Chuck act as if they were strangers.

"S, you're glowing," Blair said beaming at her best friend and sitting down next to her on the couch.

"The sun was amazing, I could just lay in it forever," Serena said with a sigh thinking back to her honeymoon balcony and the warn sun that was forever streaming into her room. "Henry said you were sick, what's wrong?"

"Nothing serious," Blair said brushing it off and looking over at her husband who smiled at her and nodded. "We have some news for you."

"Sounds exciting," Serena said looking from Blair to Chuck who were both smiling wide, Henry was on his father's lap playing with his tie because this topic did not interest him. "Well tell me already."

"I'm pregnant," Blair said and Serena screamed loudly causing Henry to block his ears and stare at his aunt like she was losing her mind. "Serena, my ears."

"I'm sorry but this is amazing," Serena said and Blair laughed because Serena literally had tears in her eyes. "Hi little baby."

"You do know that it can't hear you," Blair said as Serena patted and spoke to her flat stomach and Henry giggled at her.

"Baby Bass number 2, I can't wait," Serena said ignoring Blair and squealing again but a little softer this time.

"Now you sound like Nate," Chuck said and Serena's head snapped to him and her smile dropped before she realized where she was and it was back on in a second.

"What do you mean?" Serena asked and even Dan leaned forward in his chair, leaning his elbows on his knees to hear what Chuck had to say.

"He said the exact same thing when I told him," Chuck said smirking, he and Serena stared at each other knowingly for a beat, before Serena frowned and looked at Blair.

"How dare he find out before me?" she asked pouting and glaring at her best friends, Blair laughed and shook her head.

"He couldn't be here for this family meeting," Blair said and Dan rolled his eyes. "And I, well Chuck had to tell him face to face."

"Where is … Nate?" Serena asked swallowing before she said his name, it was fine listening to anyone else saying his name or saying 'him' but she herself needed a moment before saying his name out aloud. She didn't feel anything for him anymore, she knew she didn't, she _couldn't_ but after the last time they slept together things just haven't been the same. When she saw him she felt guilty, she felt like she led him on and destroyed him and she hated that feeling, she hated being responsible for Nate's pain again.

She knew she didn't deserve someone like him in her life when he answered her call on her wedding day and calmed her down just by speaking, granted he thought it was Chuck calling when he answered but he didn't hang up when she spoke. She knows she needed him there, the feeling of wanting him to be next to her right at that moment was so overwhelming that she could have cried when she finally heard his voice. She needed to know that he was ok and that he wasn't going to hate her for marrying another man and as crazy as it sounds she wanted him to give her away.

"Nate is in LA, do you remember Diana Payne?" Blair asked and Serena furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"Cougar, hot and hiding Bart, Dianna Payne?" Serena asked and Blair laughed and nodded.

"One and the same," Chuck said and Henry stared at his aunt as if gaging her reaction. "She has a business proposal that he went up to discuss."

"Really?" Dan asked before his wife could question her best friends as to exactly why Nate would even consider going into business with that woman after all the drama with the spectator years ago. "I find it hard to believe that Nate would meet with Diana Payne, actually I don't believe it, there has to be another reason for him not being here now."

Serena didn't miss the flash of his eyes toward her as he completed his sentence but before she could say anything Blair spoke up. "You aren't qualified to say what Nate would or wouldn't do, you've barely spoken to him in the past three years," she snapped staring him down. "He'll be back in New York by the end of this week, unfortunately he refuses to listen to me and take a month of to relax."

"He just wants to meet her to say that he's meeting her," Chuck said talking to Dan but looking straight at Serena, hoping that he eased her worry for Nate. "Formalities and such."

Serena nodded as she looked back at Chuck to say she understood and then looked back to Blair giving her a huge smile, "So are we hoping for a girl this time?"

* * *

**A/N : Hey guys thank you soooooo much for the reviews on the first chapter and I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well**

**My exams officially end this week and I am soooo excited you have no idea, I have all these math theorems and formulas in my head and I just want them gone! The good thing about studying is that it makes you procrastinate and you think of the best things when you're not supposed to lol I know a lot of things seem like gold to me but you guys are probably like what is wrong with this chick hahaha**

**I thought I should explain that DS are married and have to be somewhat happy otherwise its just stupid and unbelievable, I will break down their marriage though, nothing will make me happier **evil laugh****

**I love that you guys love Henry, he's absolutely perfect I love him and he's a major part of this story along with CB as always**

**Please review and let me know what you think **

**Until Next Time (^^,)**


	3. Chapter 3

"Ok so Henry will be here in a little bit," Serena said walking behind Dan's chair and putting her hands on his shoulders. "We could go to the park with him later, get some fresh air."

"Why is he coming here?" Dan asked distractedly as he typed. "Can't Dorota watch him?"

"She's spending the next few days with her family," Serena said shocked. "And Nate's still not back so I offered to watch him."

"Why not just hire a nanny?" Dan said still typing furiously.

"There's no reason for a nanny when I'm perfectly capable of handling him," Serena said blowing out an exasperated breath and placing her palm on his keyboard stopping him from typing.

"What was that for?" he asked and then looked up to see her annoyed expression and realized that he was the one who put it there. "I just mean that Blair would never willingly send him here, where _I_ live."

"Of course she would, it isn't Brooklyn," Serena said, she and Dan had moved into their very own Upper East Side apartment the week after they got back from their Honeymoon so she could be as close to her family as possible and he was just a stone's throw away from any of the places he would ever need to go to in the city. "And Henry loves us, Blair can't say no to him."

"No Henry loves _you_," Dan said and Serena opened her mouth to protest but he stopped her. "Where are Blair and Chuck going to be?"

"Doctors appointment to make sure everything is going well for the next super cute baby Bass," Serena said giddily, she loved it when Blair was pregnant, they went to the cutest shops with the tiniest baby outfits and Blair eats anything and everything so Serena doesn't feel as bad as she usually does when she cheats on her diet. "Are you against the idea of having Henry over?"

"No exactly Serena," Dan said carefully, removing her hand from his keyboard and deleting the characters her angry palm had typed in. "I wonder though if we should be entertaining a four year old while I'm working."

"You _can_ take the afternoon off, have some fun," Serena said walking around his desk and throwing up her arms exaggeratedly. "You've been stuck there for the past three days, I'm bored."

"Ok," Dan laughed as Serena pouted and stared at him with big blue eyes that he never felt belonged to him even now, although he'd never admit that to anyone. "Later we'll take the kid to the park and leave my laptop at home."

"Good," Serena said clapping her hands together and smiling, turning to walk out of the room, she was so happy by the fact that he said yes that she forgot to scold him for calling her favorite four year old, 'the kid'. "I'm glad you aren't against having Henry over."

"No I was just … curious," Dan called after her in an attempt to explain his earlier questions, he thought that after the Gossip Girl revelation, they would all see exactly how much he fit into their world, how he wasn't just some kid that wandered off a poor path into the land of the rich and privileged, he worked for all that he got and he was extremely proud of himself but these people, the ones he called 'friends' didn't see it like he did.

Serena did, of course she did, she had wanted to believe in him so much that she readily took everything he threw at her and spun a romantic tale, whereas Blair flat out refused to listen to any reasons he had as to why he was Gossip Girl, he knows she told Serena she was crazy for accepting it and that she never would, Dan still felt the hate radiating off her sometimes but she manages to play nice for Serena's sake. Chuck is a little easier than Blair to handle because while he shares his wife's sentiments, he isn't as outwardly obvious about it, he also plays nice for Serena's sake but Dan could never feel quite at ease in his presence.

Finally there was Nate, Dan had unintentionally alienated the only real friend he made in his years of being part of the Upper East Side, they just drifted apart, Dan got more focused on his writing and met new people and he just didn't have time to hang out with Nate unless it was at one of Serena's parties, not that Nate had made any effort either, no one knew where Nate stood on the whole Gossip Girl thing but it had been five years and the blond hadn't said or done anything that would suggest he hated Dan beside refuse to be in the city when he and Serena got back from their honeymoon. Dan knew for a fact that this distance was all because of his wife, he'd seen it in Nate's eyes the night they got engaged, the hurt when he congratulated them and disappeared to his grandfathers, he had no doubt in his mind that Nate was in love with Serena and it made him more than a little pleased sometimes to think that he actually beat Nathaniel Archibald at something, he got the girl.

It wasn't too long after Serena left the room that she opened the door to find Henry beaming up at her with a backpack in one hand and Mucky the stuffed monkey that he can't sleep without (a gift from Eleanor) in the other. Henry hugged her legs quickly and then sprinted to the lounge so he could put his things down.

"Henry…" Blair started but then sighed and shook her head. "He isn't going to stop running in the house no matter how many times I tell him not to, is he?"

"He really isn't," Serena said giggling, thinking back to how she and Erik used to run and slide on the floors, it drove her nannies crazy. "Where's Chuck?" she asked keeping an eye out for him.

"He's going to meet me there, he had a meeting he couldn't get out of this morning," Blair told her and then looked around the room herself. "Where's Humphrey?"

"He's working in the next room," Serena said shaking her head. "And I would appreciate it if you'd not call him Humphrey, it took me forever to get Henry to call him Dan and not 'ha-free'." Serena said exasperatedly and Blair laughed.

"Would you like me to start calling him Gossip Girl?" Blair asked and Serena deadpanned, she'd been expecting that. "Fine, I'll call him Dan but I won't be happy about it."

"You never are," Serena said with a smile remembering all the other times she asked Blair to stop calling him Humphrey and start calling him Dan again like did for a period before he revealed his blogging past.

"Henry, I'm leaving now, don't I get a hug?" Blair asked and Henry nodded running to her and hugging her, giving her a kiss on the cheek and grinning because she couldn't be angry at him for running when he was that sweet. "Be good for Aunty S."

"I'm always good mommy," he said showing her all his teeth when he smiled.

"We'll just have to see about that," Blair mumbled setting him back down and watching him scamper off to the couch where he dropped his toys. "Nate called, he'll finally be home today."

"Things with Diana went well then?" Serena asked, her chest unconsciously tightening at the mention of Nate.

"No, he just took my advice and stayed for that holiday," Blair told her with a smirk making a move to walk out the door. "I'll get him later S, love you."

"Love you too B," Serena called as Blair left the apartment and Serena walked over to her godson and kneeled down next to him. "Hey baby boy, what do you want to do today?"

"I was hoping Uncle Nate would be here today," Henry said sitting down on the couch and pouting a little.

"Don't you want to spend the day with your Aunty S," Serena said giving him her best sad face and sounding hurt, she and Nate were extremely close to Henry, like Dan had noted they were basically his second set of parents, his godparents. They always jokingly competed to be Henry's favorite and Serena had never thought he'd ever actually choose Nate over her.

"I do but Uncle Nate was sad and I wanted to make him happy," he told her with sad eyes and Serena held in her gasp. He was four, he wasn't supposed to be this perceptive, he wasn't supposed to be looking for ways to 'make them happy'.

"Did he tell you he was sad?" Serena asked and Henry nodded, Serena rolled her eyes, she knows Blair and Chuck wanted total honesty with the little boy but he was a baby and Nate shouldn't have been this irresponsible with him.

"I heard momma and daddy say he was sad," Henry told her and Serena nodded, that made more sense than Nate dumping his feelings on their godson. "And Uncle Nate said its coz he isn't gonna see you lots anymore," he said and Serena could feel her heart start to beat faster but she shouldn't be letting what Nate told Henry get to her, not like this, not now.

"Oh sweetie, don't worry about me and Uncle Nate," she said and Henry stared at her still not convinced that he should stop worrying. "Do you have a plan?" she asked wearily, this was Chuck and Blair's son after all.

"No," Henry said dejectedly and Serena wanted to wrap him up and squeeze him tight and just erase all his worries about the world. "I thought building the train set would help but then he went away for a _whole month_."

Serena almost laughed at the way he exaggerated the words telling her how long Nate was away for. "I know but that was for business, I'm sure when he gets back he'll be happy again," Serena told him and Henry shrugged.

"He'll still be sad coz he isn't gonna see you all the time Aunty S," Henry said, staring at her as if she should come up with the solution for Nate's sadness. Serena took a breath and scanned her godsons face, she knew that until he was certain he could do something about the reason Nate's he would continue to worry. "Like we used to when we went to the park last year, member?"

"I remember," Serena raised an eyebrow at Henry who was grinning and smiled gently, she and Nate took him to the park together every week the year before when she and Dan were separated until the week of the Christmas party and her engagement. "Ok how about Uncle Nate and I take you out together, to … wherever you want to go once a week, until you are happy that Uncle Nate is happy?" It was a spur of the moment decision, one that she wasn't so sure about, she hadn't talked to Nate about the feelings she saw in him the night she got engaged and she didn't want to go there but spending the day with Henry wasn't going to lead to that right? After all they'll have the little boy to entertain and that would leave no time for talk of feelings or the nights they spent together.

"Yeah that sounds so cool," Henry said with a huge smile on his face as Serena picked him up and carried him on her hip. Henry smirked and wrapped his little arms around her neck turning his head away from her so it wasn't in her hair, he didn't think his plan would really work, his mom helped him come up with it to help his Uncle Nate and Aunty S see each other more so they won't be sad and she said that Serena had to be the one to come up with it not him so she just told him what to remind her of and Henry took care of the rest. He was pretty happy with himself for pulling it off, pretty soon he was going to be just like his dad. "Thank you Aunty S."

"You're very welcome sweetheart," Serena said hugging him back and laughing as she carried him into the kitchen. "Let's make some smoothies and we can convince your Uncle Dan to the park ok?"

Henry crinkled his nose when Serena called Dan his Uncle Dan, he knew his mom and dad didn't like him and he took Aunty Serena away from Uncle Nate and anyone who made any of them sad was not someone he liked. He didn't want Dan to be his uncle until he earned that status, but to appease Serena he nodded and whispered ok.

Henry sat on the counter swinging his legs around until Serena dug out the correct ingredients and plugged in the blender. Together they dropped in whatever they thought should go into a smoothie, laughing when Serena almost started the machine without closing the top and frowning when their concoctions tasted terrible. It took a few tries before they finally came up with something that didn't taste half bad.

"Ok let's get this to Dan and then we can try and get him away from the desk of his long enough to come outside with us," Serena said after she'd poured the drink into three different glasses.

"Does he always sit at his desk?" Henry asked taking one of the glasses from his aunt. "Momma said daddy can be like that sometimes but she has ways to get him to stop work."

"I bet she does," Serena said chuckling and nudging Henry to walk ahead of her to the next room. "You give that to Dan and I have yours in my hand ok?"

"Ok," Henry said grinning running ahead of her. Serena smiled at the little boy and shook her head, Blair hated him running around the house like that but he was too cute to scold. Serena picked up her pace to catch up to Henry and turned the corner just in time to see him trip over one of Dan's balled up discarded pieces of paper that had obviously missed the bin and the glass fly out of Henry's little hands as he fell to the ground.

"What have you done Bass?" Dan roared jumping from his seat and picking up his pages, swatting at them but it was too late because the liquid had already seeped through the paper and his shirt, not stopping to see the horrified look on Henry or Serena's faces. "This is why I didn't want to have him over, I'm glad we don't have any children."

"Dan," Serena said stopping him from saying anymore and he looked at her and shook his head. She set the other two glasses onto the table and watched as her godson sprinted from the room. "What is wrong with you?"

"Look at this, I finally had that story planned brilliantly and now I can barely make out what I wrote," he said, he liked planning his stories and ideas on paper, he liked the feel of writing with a pencil and the noise of it scratching against the paper as he wrote. He looked up to see his wife's hard expression trained on his face. "Can you pass me another shirt?"

"No," she said harshly, putting her hands on her hips. "I have to calm Henry down because you've scared him and hurt his feelings, he was only trying to be nice."

"He dropped _his_ juice all over my work," Dan said following her out of the room, sounding more like a child than a 26 year old man. "He's Chuck Bass' son, he'll be fine."

"He's four," Serena growled stalking past him to find the little boy. "And he was bringing that smoothie for you."

Dan huffed and grumbled as he walked back to his office, somehow this was all his fault.

* * *

**A/N: So it begins hehe I hope you guys loved this chapter, I hate Dan and it shows in everything that I write lol I'm pretty sure all of you guys hate him more now as well because Henry is adorable and what is wrong with him? **

**What do you think about Henry taking after his parents in the scheming department lol meddling in his godparents lives at 4, I love it**

**So my exams are over yey! Now the real stress begins when the results start to come in hehe but I have time now to write a little more which looks hard since I lost myself in One Tree Hill fanfiction for the last few days and only wrote a little of the 4th chapter, I really wanted to get ahead in this story but it seems like I'm gonna struggle in keeping up with the updates as usual lol so please try not to get too annoyed with me hehe **

**Thank you guys for all those amazing reviews I love reading what you think, if you have any ideas for what should happen, nothing is really written out yet so I'd love to see what you guys think and maybe add it in **

**Please let me know what you think of this chapter, thank you again for all the support **

*****Minor correction in the DS conversation at the beginning nothing too important, thank you to 'the lights of paris' for pointing that out**

**Until Next Time (^^,)**


	4. Chapter 4

Serena found Henry in the guest bedroom clutching Mucky and curled up in a ball on the floor, her heart broke when she saw tears in the little boy's eyes.

"Hi sweetie," Serena said soothingly, kneeling on the floor next to him. Henry sniffed and hid his face in the monkey's fur. Serena took a deep breath and sat down next to him, reaching her arms around him to pull him onto her lap.

"I really didn't mean to Aunty S," he whimpered and Serena hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry."

"I know Henry, I know, its ok," she said softly with tears in her own eyes, stroking his hair and shushing him and in that moment she hated Dan, she hated him for screaming at that perfect little boy, she hated him for acting like he was innocent in all this, she hated him for not giving a second thought to what he said. "I'm sorry too, Dan shouldn't have said those things to you."

"Do you hate me?" he asked, his chocolate brown eyes shining as he searches hers for any traces of hate for him.

"No, of course not, I'll never hate you, not ever," she assured him pressing a kiss to his forehead. "That could have happened to anyone."

"Really?" Henry asked sniffing and Serena used one of her hands to wipe his tears.

"Yes, when I was you age my nanny helped me make breakfast for my mom," Serena started, recalling the memory as if it were yesterday, her father had left and she wanted to do anything to make her mom stop crying. "I put everything on a tray and carried it to her room but when I opened the door, I tripped over one of her shoes and everything went crashing to the floor."

"What she do?" Henry asked moving off Serena's lap and sitting on the floor in front of her so he could look at her properly.

"She was shocked at first but then she called my nanny to clean up and told me that it was ok to make mistakes sometimes as long as you learn from them," Serena said, she was pretty sure there was a lot of screaming as well but she wasn't going to tell Henry that the soothing words only came later and her deeply depressed mother refused to talk to her for a week over a few broken plates.

"I should listen to momma next time," Henry said looking down and Serena smiled at him and took one of his hands in hers.

"You should always listen to your mom sweetie," she reminded him.

"Aunty S?" he said in a questioning voice and Serena made a 'hmm' sound as he bit his lip, deep in thought about what he wanted to tell her. "I wish you married Uncle Nate instead."

Serena's breath caught in her throat, she tried to form the right words but there was nothing coming to mind except for her godson telling her that she made a mistake and married the wrong man. She knew she and Dan had issues and ever since they came back from their honeymoon, the reason's they broke up all those times in the past kept sneaking up on her but she buried them and ignored them because they've only been married a month, they could last longer than this, they should last forever. She hated that her mind kept running to Nate when she had doubts because she shouldn't be having doubts and she and Nate ended a long time ago, she kept hurting him, they were better as friends, she knew that.

There was a light knock on the door and Serena lifted her head up to see Dan standing there, Henry obviously did too because his body tensed and he quickly crawled behind Serena, pressing his face into her back and clutching the fabric of her dress.

"Henry, can I talk to you?" Dan asked, mouthing 'I'm sorry' to Serena, Serena glared at him for a long time, searching his face for any traces of anger and letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding when she found none.

"No Aunty S I don't want to," Henry said into her back when she tried to move. "Please don't make me."

Serena winced and turned so she could face him. "He's not going to yell at you ok, he's just going to say he's sorry," Serena told him and Henry shook his head. "Please hear what he has to say, for me, I'll be right outside the door if you need me ok?"

Henry's chin quivered for a moment but then he nodded his head and stood up straight with a mask on to rival those of a young Blair Waldorf, he crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Dan looking so much like Chuck in that moment that if the circumstances were different Serena would have taken a picture and fawned over it with Blair.

Serena watched from the hallway, she could see Dan and Henry but she couldn't hear them, she didn't know how Dan was going to make this up to her nephew but she knew the man she loved, the man she married and he wasn't mean or rude to children, he was just stressed and he should be more careful but this wasn't his fault, he warned her that he was busy before Henry came over, she should have known better.

It took a few minutes but finally Dan held out his hand and Henry eyed it warily looking to her before nodding his head and walking out toward her with a smile on his face. Serena closed her eyes and let out a breath, she didn't know what she would do if Henry hated Dan as well.

"We're going to the park," Henry announced when they walked out of the room, Serena could see that he was hesitant to move to quickly and she hated that the little boy felt uncomfortable in her home.

"Yey, why don't you go grab your ball and then we'll go?" Serena said enthusiastically reaching out to touch her godsons head as he walked past her to get to his bag before glancing at her husband. "Is everything sorted out?"

"I'm an ass, I'm sorry, I'll try not to do anything important next time the kid is around," he said lightly grabbing her arms and giving her a sheepish smile. "OK?"

"Ok," Serena said giving him a tight smile, she wasn't really ok with anything that was said before, the way Dan reacted to Henry's little accident, the admission that he didn't want kids, she knew when they were younger he wanted a family but after his success with his books and all the other changes in their lives, it only dawned on her then that she didn't know exactly how much he changed, she was still thinking about him as he was five years ago.

* * *

"Come on Aunty S, kick the ball back," Henry called out to her encouraging her to kick the ball to him.

She looked down at her shoes and sighed, she did not think this plan through well enough. She took a breath and kicked the ball covering her eyes quickly and peeking through her finger as it sailed through the air (barely missing Dan when he ducked) and landed by the tree next to Henry. The little boy giggled as he went to get it and Serena smiled before looking down at her shoes to assess the damage.

Serena was watching Henry when someone caught her eye, he was approaching them quietly, walking straight toward Henry. It took her a long moment to figure out who it was and she ran as fast as she could to her nephew and knelt down.

"Guess who came to see you," she said softly, turning him around and pointing him in the direction of the man.

"Uncle Nate!" Henry yelled, letting go of Serena's hands and taking of full speed so that he could jump into his Godfathers arms and Nate smiled like there was no other place in the world he would rather be.

"_Do you think we will still be close to him in five years?" Nate asked holding a two month old Henry in his arms._

"_Of course we will, Blair and Chuck will never keep us away from this little one," Serena said touching the infants cheek._

"_I know they won't but what if _we_ grow apart from the little family we created here?" he asked adjusting Henry when he squirmed a little in Nate's arms._

"_We won't, I won't let you," she said with such finality in her voice that Nate couldn't help but believe her. "And I know you won't let me either."_

_Nate was about to reply when Henry started crying, the little wails turning into loud screams that made his godparents wince. Nate quickly got up and lay the little boy on his changing table, checking his diaper to make sure it wasn't the problem. "I think he's hungry."_

"_Got it," Serena said holding up a bottle and testing the liquid inside to make sure it was cool enough. "This is why mommy and daddy let us steal you for the day," Serena said in a baby voice when Henry finally stopped screaming because of the bottle in his mouth. "Coz you wake them up every hour like clockwork and they never get any sleep," Henry looked up at her like he understood and Serena was sure he was going to smile but his eyes just started to droop and she pouted. "Sleepy baby."_

"_We make a good team," Nate said leaning across the table and hi-fiving her before letting his eyes drift back to the baby. "I'm not even his dad and I feel the insane need to protect him and tell him about all the things he needs to watch out for in the world."_

"_That's how I know you're never going to leave him Nate," Serena said smiling at him before looking back down at the tiny boy. "Because you'd never abandon someone you love, no matter what the situation is."_

_Nate smiled to himself without taking his eyes of baby Henry and Serena knew that he knew she was thanking him for always being there for her, even when it was really hard for both of them she could always count on him._

Serena smiled at the memory, it was the day Blair finally decided to hire someone else to help them out, Chuck and Blair were so tired, even Monkey was looking at them pleadingly like he just needed some sleep, Dorota had a family emergency and most of their family was out of town when Nate and Serena stopped by and managed to convince Chuck and Blair to sleep for 12 straight hours and let them deal with the most precious boy any of them had ever laid their eyes on.

She grabbed Henrys ball and walked back to Dan as Nate made his way to them with Henry clinging to him. Nate's hair was cut really short and Serena realized that that was the reason she didn't recognize him right away, the last time he had his hair that short was when they were kids and his dad decided it would be a good look. It wasn't. But now she can't help but think it makes him look sexier, older.

"Look who's back," Dan commented sounding less than thrilled and Serena rolled her eyes, of all her friends she thought that he would at least warm up to Nate again.

"Hey guys," Nate said cheerily, before looking back at Henry and kneeling so he could set the boy on the floor. "Why don't you go play on the swing set while we talk here little man?"

Henry raised an eyebrow but nodded and Nate smiled and watched him go. Serena looked at Nate curiously and then looked back toward her nephew when Nate turned to them to make sure he didn't slip out of their sight. "Everything ok Nate?" Serena asked even before she greeted him because there had to be a reason for him to send the little boy away.

Nate took them both by surprise when he grabbed Dan by his shirt and hoisted him up so his feet where barely touching the ground, Serena was keeping one eye on Henry and one eye on the two men next to her as Nate spoke.

"He is 4 years old, I don't care who you are or what you were doing, I don't care about the amount of work you have to redo because of him or the amount of patience you need because it's been years since you've had a child around, if you ever raise your voice to him again, I'll make sure you pay," Nate growled letting him go, Serena stared at him shocked, her eyes still moving toward the play area as Henry went down the slide, she thought she was going to smile because as much as she already told Dan what she thought she couldn't do what Nate just did. Nate took a breath and looked to Serena. "Nice to see you again S."

"Hey Nate," Serena called as he started to walk away from them, breaking out of the state of shock both she and were in. "Welcome back."

Nate smiled at her as he caught the ball she threw to him, from the look in his eye she knew he would take over now with Henry and someone will come by later to get the little boys bag and toys. She shook her head and smiled at her godson's sweet attitude to Dan after he apologized, he knew that as soon as he mentioned it to Nate Dan would be punished and Henry wouldn't have had to do anything himself.

Serena grabbed her bag and glanced over at her husband who was fuming, but they were in public, at the park really close to a lot of children if he were to cause a scene now it would look really bad and if there's one thing that Dan hates its bad press. As soon as they passed through the door of their apartment the screaming started, Dan was furious at Nate and Henry and everyone else in the world. She let him rant a little, having her own inner turmoil to contend with.

* * *

"Dan did you mean what you said earlier?" she asked later when he was working on his laptop in his office, he'd calmed down and as far as Serena knew everything was forgotten, the next time Nate and Dan saw each other they'd pretend.

"I said a lot of things earlier sweetheart," he said looking up at her and Serena winced at the term of endearment, she wasn't sure how he had intended it to come out but it ended up sounding sardonic.

"About kids Dan, did you mean what you said about being glad we don't have a child," Serena said wrapping her arms around her body. "Do you not want kids?"

"I have my writing and books and you have … those parties and events that you enjoy planning, so with everything going on do you really think we'll have time to raise a kid," Dan asked looking at her as if this was just one of those joking future talks they sometimes had.

"I don't have to do that and you work from home most of the time anyway I think we'll have enough time," Serena said a little desperately, with a hopeful smile on her face and he realized she was serious.

"Maybe someday, not right now, I want to do so much and be more established before bringing a child into this world," Dan said letting her know that children were not the plan for their near future but he wasn't abandoning the idea. "We aren't ready yet, you remember how bad I was with Henry, I'm sure with practice I'll get better but for now I think we should just enjoy the quiet."

"I guess you're right," Serena said rubbing her arms and taking a breath. "I'm going to wash up, you better be in bed when I get out," she warned jokingly and he nodded and laughed.

Serena walked quickly to the bathroom and shut the door, the smile that was plastered on slipping off her face really quickly, he didn't want a baby especially not right now, she swallowed the lump in her chest and blinked back tears as she walked over to the sink. She picked up the stick on the counter and stared at the little pink plus sign, she let her heart soar for a moment before it all came crashing down on her again.

* * *

**A/N : The part in _italics _is a flashback for anyone who was confused, hey guys I'm like a day late so you can't be too mad with me hehe, this chapter was the last I had written when I wrote ahead and I spent so much time editing and trying to get it right and I'm still a little unsure about how it is but I really hoped you enjoyed it**

**So I got this review that made me want to make Dan more of an ass then he already is but I realized that some of you do actually like him and its not fair to you or this story to really mess with the idea of his character that I have and first part where he apologizes so I just added in a little Nate threatening hehe coz a lot of you guys asked for protective Natie and I love writing protective Nate :D**

**Please review and let me know what you think, I'm really nervous about this chapter especially since it has both Nate and Serena and maybe not the way you pictured it ... From now on there will be more NS interaction, the previous chapters were just to set everyone up and let you know where they all stood**

**If there are any problems with this chapter or if you have any other ideas please please tell me**

**Thank you so much to all of you for the support, you guys are amazing **

**Until Next Time (^^,)**


	5. Chapter 5

"Leave those files on the desk thank you Tina," Nate said without looking up when the door to his office opened.

"Dan doesn't want kids," she said softly and Nate's head snapped up because that was not his assistant. He buzzed his assistant and told her to hold his calls and he was not to be disturbed while Serena closed the door and leaned back against it. "He said he doesn't want kids _now_."

"There is still time Serena I mean you guys only got married like two months ago," Nate said swallowing because she was in his office talking to him about her and Dan's future children and he really really wanted to stay as in the dark as possible when it came to their marriage. "He didn't say never right?"

"He said not now, he was serious and he did that thing with his face where you know he's serious," she said pointing her finger to her face and moving it around to make her point. "What if his not now turns into never?"

"Serena…" Nate said gathering his thoughts as he stood, he didn't know what to say to her exactly to make her feel better.

"I'm pregnant," she said before he could say anymore and he froze and stared at her.

"O..o..ok, are you sure," Nate stuttered to get out, his heart dropped to his stomach and his eyes dropped to hers because it was real, she and Dan weren't just this passing thing Chuck and Blair liked to make them out to be to make him feel better, she was starting a family with him, she was having his baby. Nate stood there struggling to breathe at her confession, he knew this was going to come, he just didn't think it would come so soon, he wasn't ready for it and he wondered if he could ever really be.

"I took a test but I think I need to be sure and I don't want anyone else to know," she said looking down, he could tell she was struggling with it and his mind immediately jumped to his family doctor, the most discreet man he'd ever known, he'd take her to him if she needs confirmation. "Chuck and Blair have their own pregnancy and Henry to deal with and I don't want to add any stress to them and I don't want Dan to know until I'm sure, in case it's a false alarm and he hates me for falling pregnant before we were ready and I know that there's been this huge distance between us that I wish wasn't there and I have a sinking feeling that it's my fault but I just … I don't know who else to go to."

"Ok stop," he said walking over to her and lightly grabbing her shoulders to get her to pay attention to him because she was rambling. "Did you see a doctor?"

"No, I just took that stupid home pregnancy test last night and here I am," she said throwing her head back and resting it against the door with her eyes closed. "What am I going to do?"

"Ok the first thing we're going to do is get you to a doctor and then we can worry about everything else," Nate told her and she opened one eye to look at his face.

"You'd do that for me? Even though you're really busy?" she asked and Nate nodded. "Dan's going to be so angry if he finds out I'm pregnant after our talk about not being ready for kids."

"Even though I really don't like the guy right now, you know as well as I do that if you are pregnant he'd be really excited," Nate said thanking whatever powers that be that her eyes were closed again so she wouldn't see the completely defeated look on his face as he tried to make her feel better. "And even if he isn't you are going to be a really good mom and your kid will have a kickass uncle, just ask Henry."

Serena opened her eyes when Nate let go of her shoulders and laughed. "I need to make an appointment with the doctor now, don't I?" she asked groaning and Nate shook his head slowly causing her to raise an eyebrow at him because he just said she needed to see a doctor and now he was saying no.

"Let me take care of that," he said and she stared at him for a beat before nodding and giving him a relieved smile. "I need _you _to find Tina tell her that I'm not going to be in for the rest of the day and to call me on my cell if it's urgent."

"Thanks Natie," she said softly as she left the office, Nate sat down heavily on his chair and closed his eyes. Not letting his mind wander too much he grabbed his phone to find the number he needed.

* * *

Nate and Serena entered his apartment later that day and promptly collapsed on his couch.

"So today was …" he trailed of not really sure of how to describe how he felt and sure that whatever he said was either going to make her really angry with him or really sad and he didn't think he could handle either of those emotions.

"Yeah," Serena whispered knowing exactly how he felt and Nate smiled to himself, it had been a while since he felt like they were on the same page. "Henry wasn't kidding when he said you were going to keep the train set on your floor forever."

"I didn't have the heart to break it up," Nate said chuckling at the memory of building it. Henry insisted that they call Chuck over to help, of course that meant Chuck sat close by with the instructions and his scotch and told Nate and Henry what to do instead of helping, but Nate wouldn't have expected anything less from his best friend. "He'd be really disappointed if he came here the next time and it was gone."

"You really are a 'kickass' uncle," Serena said looking over at him in awe and Nate blushed and shrugged. "If I were going to have a kid you'd probably be its favorite uncle too."

"Just because you aren't pregnant now doesn't mean you're never going to be," he said watching her face as she took a deep breath. The doctor had determined that Serena wasn't actually pregnant and the home test was a false positive, her face had fallen and her nervous excitement gone but he was relieved, he hated that he felt that way but he really was, he needed more time before she was pregnant with someone else's child, he'd only just recently got used to the idea of her being _married_ to someone else.

"I know, I was just really happy for a moment or a couple of moments actually," Serena said shrugging looking over at Nate and seeing his blue eyes shine with worry for her. "I'll be ok Nate, this is a good thing remember, the result I hoped for."

"You don't sound like it's a good thing," he said commenting on her lack of enthusiasm. "I know you wanted it to be true."

"Maybe someday right," she asked taking a deep breath and looking around the room, stopping when her eyes landed on the clock and she noticed the time. "I should go."

"Are you going to tell him?" Nate asked as she stood up.

"Maybe, I don't know," Serena said looking down at her nails, she wasn't pregnant so nothing would change, if she didn't say anything to Dan he would never know and they could go about being normal again but if she told him it may start conversations that she wasn't willing to finish and the thought scared her.

"I think you should, I know you think that it's not a big deal because there's no baby but it kinda is," Nate found himself saying and Serena nodded and turned away from him and started walking toward the door hating that he could read her so well.

"Ok I've been thinking of ways to talk to you about this for a really long time but everything seemed to be getting in the way," Serena said turning back toward him when she reached the door and Nate furrowed his brows and stared at her. "What is your problem?"

"My problem?"

"Yes Nate, I got married, I didn't think that meant I was going to lose you," she said throwing her arms out and staring at him.

"You didn't lose me, I'm right here," Nate said standing as well, he knew they hadn't had a conversation alone since her engagement (talking on the phone before her wedding didn't count) but he honestly didn't think she noticed, he just assumed she didn't want to.

"No you aren't Nate, you were barely around after Christmas, I don't care that your grandfather kept you from returning for a while, then I had to get Chuck to call you to invite you to my wedding because your secretary said you were always busy when I called and finally I come back from my honeymoon and you were gone only to come back yesterday, a full month after I got back," Serena said loudly and Nate winced at every accusation she made. "So excuse me for thinking that I was losing you."

"I don't know what you want me to say Serena," Nate said getting agitated because he was only doing what would cause them, or him at least, the least pain. "I _have_ actually been busy these past couple months."

"You have never been too busy to take my calls Nate, I want you to tell me why Henry thinks you we need to spend more time together," she said and when Nate went to open his mouth to respond she cut him off. "Yes he told me and if our godson can see the distance between us then why can't you?"

"It's not like that Serena," Nate said pressing his fingers against his temples. "You're married now, things have changed, we aren't going to see each other the way we used to."

"I know you feel that way but how can you know that Nate, why would you think that?" she asked, not understanding why he would think that they aren't going to see each other as often, Dan wouldn't keep her from her friends and she wouldn't let him. "If you were around you'd know that I'd still make the time to see you because you are one of my best friends."

Nate smiled bitterly at her and shut his eyes for a second as he shook his head because she wasn't getting it and he wasn't going to explain it, not right now. "S, it's late and you've had a crazy day, maybe we should save this conversa-"

"No, no, no, we are having this conversation now because you are going to keep avoiding it and I want us to get over whatever _this_ is so we can go back to the way we were," Serena said cutting him off when she realized what he was going to say. "I miss talking to you Nate, before … everything I came to you and this past month I've had no-one to talk to because as much as I love Blair she's got so much going on and Chuck's just not you, you're my best friend and fellow godparent.

"Just tell me why you're avoiding me," Serena asked pleadingly and looking at him with such vulnerability and exhaustion that Nate just closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. "Please."

"Because I'm in love with you ok?" he said loudly and exasperatedly and both he and Serena took in sharp breaths at his confession. He didn't want to tell her, not like that and the look on her face told him that maybe it wasn't the best thing to say at that time but she pushed him and Nate knew he was too far in right now to stop. "Because we slept together and I thought it meant something to you but it didn't, because it took everything in me not to stop your wedding, because I needed a month to prepare myself for you to be married to someone who _is not me_."

Serena stood frozen, with her hand against her heart and her eyes stuck on his face.

"So yeah I'm avoiding you, I need to avoid you S," Nate said shaking his head. "You know it's hard to love someone who doesn't love you back and sometimes as much as you want to be there when that person needs you, you need breaks in between because your broken heart needs to recover from every little touch and every single word."

"Nate … " Serena whispered, breathing heavily, there were tears burning in her eyes and she had no idea how to respond but he shouldn't be saying any of this not to her, not now, especially not when she was married and happy.

"No it's ok because I know you don't feel the same S, and I know that this is hard for you to hear but you can't honestly tell me that you had absolutely no idea that this is how I feel," Nate said letting out a heavily breath as he searched her face for something, anything that told him she wasn't ignorant to his feelings and looked down disappointedly when he found nothing. "I don't want your sympathy or pity or whatever you were just going to say to let me know that you had no idea, I love you and I will do anything for you but I need time, just give me some time to get used to you and Dan being married."

Serena didn't say anything else she just blinked back the tears threatening to come out and reached back to grasp the door handle. With one last look at Nate standing across the room looking at her with such pain in his eyes, she opened the door of his apartment and slipped out as quickly as she could and ran down the hall. She needed to get out of there fast, she couldn't handle the amount of emotions crashing down on her, the realizations that she didn't want to acknowledge, she didn't want Nate to see how his words affected her so she left.

"Well that went well," Nate mumbled to himself flopping back down on his couch and slapping his hands hard onto his face, if he could kick his own ass, he would but he may not have to wait too long until Serena tells Dan and he comes and does that for him. "What the hell were you thinking, Archibald."

How could he be so careless with his feelings? He spent the better part of the last five years, burying his feelings for Serena to be the best friend he could be because she loved Dan and he convinced himself that she would never feel anything more for him than friendship. He hid his feelings to protect his heart and his little nephew's because the boy loved spending time with his godparents, together, and he didn't deserve the tension Nate knew would be there if she knew of his love and didn't return it, the tension that was going to be there now whenever they were in the same room. Nate buried his face in his hands and groaned, what has he done?

Nate shook his head and got up off the couch and went straight into his liquor cabinet, reaching for the strongest thing he had and pouring himself a glass, he needed to forget everything.

* * *

**A/N I am soooooo so so so sorry about the wait and this chapter isn't even that long but it has a lot going on in it, this wasn't even supposed to happen yet but once I started writing this chapter this came out and I just went with it, I'm actually pretty happy with it, I don't think this story is going to be a really long one but I'm going to try and stick to the plan and give it the ending it deserves **

**So the past two weeks have been filled with One tree hill, I finally watched the 5th season which I skipped before and I cried like a baby because it was really sad lol and then I got lost in OTH fanfiction which is terrible for you guys because I wasn't writing but brilliant for me because they have some really good writers!**

**Anyway back to the story thank you so much for the reviews and the support I do hope you like this chapter and don't want to kill me for it, its not exactly what any of you were expecting and haha I didn't go there, the pregnancy test was just a cliffhanger to make you go omg lol and it worked but I couldn't bring myself to go there and it was just basically a push for major NS interaction**

**So please review and let me know what you think and hopefully I can get the next chapter out quicker**

**Until Next Time (^^,)**


	6. Chapter 6

"Rise and shine sleepy head, you're burning daylight." Nate groaned as the curtains opened and sunlight poured into the room, hurting his sensitive eyes and bringing the headache that had been building right to the surface. He took his pillow and covered his tender head squinting at the figure standing over him.

"Blair?" he mumbled softly as he focused on her figure, recognizing it as her once it wasn't so blurry. "Why are you here?"

"Chuck has a meeting he can't get out of but since I'm free you're stuck with me and I'm not as forgiving as my husband," she said crossing her arms over her chest and raising an eyebrow at him.

"What?" he mumbles not understanding her and then blinks a few times. "Why are you _here_?" he repeats because none of what she said explained that.

"I'm here because we haven't heard from you in a week," she said, her voice rising as she got to the end of the sentence. "Plus Tina tells me that 'Mr. Archibald' left urgently with 'Miss van der Woodsen' and didn't come back, one phone call to work every day to 'check up' is not normal."

"Softer, Blair," Nate said squeezing his closed eyes and sticking his arm out to motion to her to be quiet. Blair watched his flailing hand unimpressed and walked over to his bed pulling the covers off and grabbing his pillow too. "Really?"

"Yes really," Blair said resuming her arms crossed position and stared at him as he moved away from the light and finally to the edge of the bed so he could sit up and glare at her for disturbing him.

"I didn't realize I was being checked on," Nate said rubbing his eye, his delayed brain only realizing now that she'd spoken to his assistant before coming to him.

"You wanna tell me what's going on," Blair said gently, her motherly instincts coming out because she knew Nate and she knew his habits and he was not this hung over because he decided he wanted to start partying, this was because he was in pain. "Because I have a four year old son who wants to know why he hasn't seen and can't talk to his Uncle Nate."

"Where's Henry?" Nate asked perking up as he looked around Blair for his nephew. "Ow," Nate suddenly yelped when Blair hit him on the back of his head. "What was that for?"

"Do you honestly think I would bring him here when I wasn't sure what I would find? You could have been dead," Blair shrieked and Nate winced at the volume of her voice. "We haven't heard from you in a week."

"Nice to know how much you care," he said bitterly and Blair hit him again. "You have got to stop doing that."

"You're a grown man, start acting like it and stop complaining," Blair scolded as he carefully rubbed his head. "Of course we care, we called every day but you didn't answer and we know you checked in with work every day except for yesterday."

"I'm sorry," Nate mumbled and Blair nodded. "I'm alive, you happy."

"No, you smell terrible, go shower before you bring back my morning sickness," Blair said grimacing at the thought as she placed her hand over her tiny bump. "I'm giving you half an hour and then I'm coming in."

"I could be naked," Nate squeaked, his eyes going wide because he knew she'd do it and he really didn't want to get ready, especially not in such a short time.

"Oh please," Blair said dismissing his worries. "It's nothing I haven't seen before."

Nate sat open mouthed as he watched her leave and shut his door behind her. He groaned when she called out to remind him of his time limit and he reluctantly stood on shaky legs to get ready from what he knew was going to be a hellish day with Blair.

"So where are we going again?" Nate asked as they walked through the streets of New York, he was wearing dark glasses and his head was killing him but Blair looked like she was on a mission and he was not going to be the one to stop her, didn't mean he couldn't ask stupid questions on the way.

"That's the third time you've asked," she said exasperatedly, she turned at the corner and waited as Nate took an extra second to find and follow her, she hated it when he was hung over. "We're going to get my favorite chocolate cake because your new godchild needs it now."

"The baby wants _your _favorite chocolate cake?" Nate asked amused and Blair glared at him causing him to lift his hands up in surrender.

"What baby wants baby gets," Blair said as they reached the cafe, she took a deep breath and smiled, looking back at him. "Come on, we'll get you coffee as well."

"Where's Henry?" Nate asked when he finally got his coffee.

"Gale has him at home today while I take care of you," Blair said smiling and Nate groaned.

"I don't need to be taken care off," Nate said knocking his head against the table. "Look I'm perfectly fine."

"Oh please," Blair said dismissing him and taking another bite of her cake and moaning. "This is so good."

Nate chuckled into his cup and shook his head.

"Now tell me what you and Serena were doing last week that made you stay at home for the rest of the week," Blair said casually.

Nate groaned and glared at Blair over his coffee cup, "Nothing," he said putting his cup down and leaning back in his chair, Blair raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips to let him know that she doesn't believe him. "Why didn't you just ask Serena all this?"

"Because unlike you, she's been over three times this week and she wasn't hung over, I had no reason to worry about what she was doing," Blair said shrugging. "You forget that I know you Nate, I know you don't stay away from work for a week just because you felt like it, what did Serena do?"

"She didn't do anything, it has nothing to do with her," Nate exploded and then looked around at the other people staring at him and lowered his voice and feeling really bad for screaming because Blair looked like she was blinking back tears. "Just drop it ok? I'll get over it."

Blair cleared her throat and looked up for a second before responding. "Ok I'll drop it, I hope you're not lying to yourself because you're both babysitting tomorrow."

"Why?"

"Because Chuck and I have work and Serena promised Henry that he'll have his godparents, alone, together, for an entire day," Blair said smoothing her hair. "Before you ask, yes she promised him that you guys will take him somewhere once a week, you can get out of it but you'll break my son's heart and then you'll have to answer to me."

"If Henry is expecting me to be there then I will be there," Nate said after sighing and Blair smiled softly and nodded, there was nothing Nate wouldn't do for Henry, ever since he was born and especially when Serena wasn't around Henry became the only thing Nate cared about. Blair knew it wasn't healthy for him to focus so much on Henry but it wasn't hurting either of them so who was she to stop it. "What are we doing?"

"I'm not sure yet, just meet them at the park in the morning," Blair said clasping her hands together above the table. "You know Henry has a plan," Nate smirked, when did that little boy not have a plan?

* * *

"Chuck I have those papers you needed from my mother," Serena said popping her head into Chucks office and waving the brown envelope in front of her.

"You didn't have to bring it," Chuck said raising an eyebrow at her. "I'm sure you have better things to do."

"No, I'm bored," Serena said sitting down on the chair in front of his desk and handing the envelope over to him. "Dan's with Alessandra until four and I have nothing to do."

"Isn't he busy with his new book?" Chuck asked and Serena nodded. "So how are you not bored when he's home, I thought he needed his peace and quiet when he was writing."

Serena winced at the reference to the incident with Henry which Chuck let slide after Nate told them he took care of it, "When he's home I can bug him and he'll get mad with me for distracting him but it feels like I'm doing something when he's in the house."

"So why don't you get a job," Chuck suggested with a laugh and at her incredulous expression continued. "I know you don't want to be a trophy wife who plans party's and gossips about everyone, so do something about it, both you and Humphrey will be happier that you aren't him."

"I could barely stick to the same major for a semester in college, what makes you think I could hold a job?" Serena asks and Chuck shrugs.

"You just need to find something that's going to keep your attention," Chuck said folding his arms across his chest and leaning back in his chair. "You could even come to work for me for a while to test it out."

"That would never work Chuck," Serena said laughing. "I don't even know what you do here."

"It's just an option sis, you've taken enough business classes to understand me when I talk and you know Lily would love it," Chuck said.

"I know," Serena said shaking her head and getting up. "I'll think about it."

"Go back to your boring house S," Chuck said and Serena stuck her tongue out at him.

"Hey Chuck have you heard from Nate?" Serena asked as she reached the door, she had been wondering if she should bring up the blond for a while but she didn't know how, she had been avoiding thinking about Nate and the things he said ever since she left him but she needed to know that he was ok and since Blair had no idea maybe Chuck would. "Blair said isn't answering her calls."

"He hasn't been answering any calls," Chuck said and Serena's heart rate picked up as she started to worry. "He's ok though, Blair went over this morning to find out what was going on and remind him that the outside world still exists, Henry's excited about your day with him tomorrow, you know Nate won't miss that."

"No he wouldn't," Serena said smiling, she knows that she'll see him the next day and she knows he's probably pissed at the way she ran away from him the last time they saw each other but the shock of his admission was gone now and they had to talk, she just hoped that he would be willing to talk to her after everything.

* * *

Nate was standing at the entrance to the park early the next morning, he hadn't had anything to drink since he knew he was going to be around his nephew soon and he didn't want to mess up the little boy's image of him. He rolled his neck and stretched his arms as he waited for Serena and Henry to arrive, Blair gave him a time to meet them when she left the day before, that was half an hour ago. He should have expected it though because Serena was always late.

It would be the first time he see's Serena in a week and to be honest he was really nervous, he has no idea what to say to her or how to act, he told her he loved her and she ran away. He wasn't expecting her to do anything else, he _shouldn't_ have expected anything else, she was married to Dan, she was happy, she chose this life, he was an idiot for throwing his feelings on her that way but he couldn't help it, she was pushing him and he needed to get it off his chest and now he can't help but resent her just a little bit for her reaction.

Nate took a breath and tilted his head back, today was for Henry, he was going to be civil and friendly and normal because his godson needed normal. Nate looked back down onto the path and there she was, walking toward him with Henry next to her, the sun bathing her in a light glow, making her look like an angel and all of a sudden he wanted to run like she did. He couldn't have her but that didn't stop him from wanting her and it hurt.

"Uncle Nate, you're here," Henry exclaimed when they finally reached him.

"Hey little man, where else would I be?" Nate asked as he bent down to Henry's level so he could give the little boy a hug and pick him up so he had a better grip on Henry and he didn't have to look up at Serena just yet.

"Daddy said you weren't feeling well and that's why we couldn't see you last week," Henry said twisting his face in confusion and then turned in Nate's arms to look at Serena. "Right Aunty S?"

"Yeah sweetie but see uncle Nate is feeling better now," Serena told him, smiling brightly and Nate had to wonder if she even thought about what he said or if she just pushed it under a rug and chose to ignore it. "So what do you want to do today Henry?"

"I wanna play on the playground," Henry said looking over Nate's shoulder to where the other kids were playing and Nate raised his eyebrow.

"Really? That's all?" Nate asked because he was expecting Henry to choose something that involved all three of them and that's one of the reasons he was so ok with today, this plan saw Henry playing on the swings and Nate and Serena standing on the sidelines until he needed them.

"Yep," Henry said and then kicked his legs to let Nate know that he wanted to be put down and Nate bent so Henry could get out of his grip. "Come on," he said reaching up to grab one of each of his godparents hands in his own tiny ones.

Nate looked at Serena and they both shared a smile over their godsons antics, for a moment it was like the last few months never happened but just a moment. Henry stopped walking when he got to a bench at the edge of the playground. Nate and Serena stood there after he let their hands go, thinking he was just going to leave then and run to the swings like he always did but he just rolled his eyes, looking just like Blair when he did and grabbed Serena's hand pulling her to sit on one side of the bench and then doing the same to Nate, pulling him to the other side.

"Are you going to sit with us?" Serena asked trying to keep an amused look of her face and Henry shook his head.

"Momma and Daddy think that you need to talk and so do I," Henry told them and Nate and Serena both held back their laughs and nodded at them. "I'll be on the jungle gym if you need me."

"That's our godson," Nate said laughing when they were alone, the little boy had already found a friend and was having fun.

"So I guess we should talk," Serena said turning on the bench to look at him, her expression growing sombre and Nate leaned forward and put his elbows his knees clasping his hands.

"I guess we should."

* * *

**A/N : Hey guys I'm really sorry about the wait for this chapter, I always think that I'll have time during the holiday but it seems like I have more time to write when I'm supposed to be busy hehe **

**So I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I don't like the Chuck and Serena part but I will look at it later and see if I can change it, I have a week of holiday left and I probably wont be writing so you may have to wait a while for the next chapter, sorry about that again **

**Thanks for the reviews, I will give you a longer authors note as well next time coz I'm rushing right now **

**Please review and let me know what you think**

**Until Next Time (^^,)**


	7. Chapter 7

Serena and Nate sat in silence watching Henry play, neither felt the silence to be comfortable but they didn't make the effort to break it either.

His mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, he didn't want to say the wrong thing to push her further away from him, he knew he was talking to a married woman and he was just too late for pretty much everything he was feeling but it's not as if the feelings manifested when Dan slid that ring onto her finger, it had been there since they were children and his mother commented on Serena's beauty and he really took notice of how much the girl he was friends with since birth had grown up.

They always had the worst timing though, she was a free spirit, someone that he'd admire and adore from afar and he was terrified that if he told her how he felt way back then that she'd run away from him and never come back. By the time he started noticing that she might feel the same about him, Blair had already staked her claim on him, declaring them boyfriend and girlfriend and Nate didn't have the heart to reject her, he did love Blair but it was never like he loved Serena and by the time they were at a place where they could acknowledge that without hurting anyone too much Dan had entered their lives and Serena got caught up in the romance and security that the Brooklyn boy brought.

They finally got their chance and somehow ruined it just as fast as it began, he actually stated to think that they weren't meant to be and he buried all feelings for her as far down as he could get them. Other boyfriends and girlfriends came and went and he was always there for her, trying to make sure she knew she had him to protect her forever. After Chuck and Blair got married they got closer again without the entire world watching Gossip Girl for their secrets and betrayals, it was easy to just be themselves and relax. Dan joined them when he and Serena were together but it was rare and far in between and before he knew it all those buried feelings came rushing to the surface, it led to them sleeping together a few times over the years and blaming the alcohol and one sober time the night before she got engaged to Dan and Nate being crushed when he realized that what he thought meant everything, meant absolutely nothing to her.

He didn't mean to scream his feelings at her the other night but she was pushing him and he just couldn't take it anymore and he hated that he was hoping she would get some kind of revelation from that and he was so disappointed when she didn't. He knew her and he knew she wanted to keep their friendship just that, a friendship and he had to find a way to explain his slipup the week before and his absence from the world after that.

He looked up at her now and saw the smile on her face as she watched Henry coming down the slide and playing with the other children, she was all he ever wanted and she somehow managed to always be just out of his reach, he could never hold onto her, at least never in the way he wanted.

"I don't see talking," Henry called as he ran passed them and both Nate and Serena burst out laughing, that boy had so much of Blair in him it was scary.

"You heard the boy," Serena said giggling and turning to look at him. "Do we need to talk?"

"I didn't mean it," Nate blurted out and winced when Serena's smile dropped and she because more serious as she looked at him. "Last week when I told you I was in love with you, I was just … I needed to tell you something to get you to stop questioning my absence from your life but Serena they weren't planned, I swear it was all accidental and I'm sorry that I freaked you out instead of convincing you."

Nate didn't know where the lies where coming from, all he knew was that it sounded believable and that's all he wanted right now, he just hoped she believed him.

"Oh," Serena said, her face dropping ever so slightly at Nate's confession, if she knew he was lying she didn't show it or say anything about it. "You should have just told me that Nate."

Nate took a moment to close his eyes and then look at Henry who was eyeing them curiously as he played, he really didn't know what else to say, he was a mess of emotions and he couldn't read a thing on Serena's face, he had no idea how she was feeling about anything he'd said.

"You know it could have avoided me walking out, or was that the plan?" Serena asked and Nate could see the hurt reflected on her face and he almost caved right then but he stopped himself because he couldn't put himself in a position to get rejected by her.

"It wasn't meant to be like that I just needed … I don't know, I had to get you to stop asking me why I was avoiding you," he said wincing at how lame in all sounded the second the words spilled out of his mouth. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"There were better ways to ask me to shut up Nate," Serena said disapprovingly but Nate could hear the beginnings of a smile in her voice. "Professing your fake love is not even on the list."

Nate turned slightly to look at her biting on her lip and searching his face for something. She didn't even know how wrong she was and as far as he was concerned she wasn't going to, he felt like such a coward for lying to her and avoiding telling her the truth but a look at her face, the desperation in her eyes that he make this a joke so that she didn't feel like she hurt him like she did, was enough to stop those feelings from saying anything to tell her that what she believes is wrong.

Nate laughed and shook his head, "Sometimes my own thoughts scare me," Nate said and Serena laughed with him. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable S, I really don't know where that came from."

"It's ok," she said wrapping her hands around his arm and resting her head on his shoulder and he jerked up a little startled because he didn't realize how close she'd gotten to him. "I'm used to your crazy."

Nate clasped one of her hands in his and let out a soft chuckle, this felt like it did before she and Dan got engaged when they were in that phase where he didn't matter and for a few weeks it was just Nate and Serena, childhood friends and former lovers against it all. The only difference was that now when she grasped his arm it wasn't to hold onto him because she needed him, it was just friendly, when she rested her head on his shoulder she didn't turn her face to press her nose against his neck and tickling him and when he held her hand in his, the wedding ring beneath his palm stopped any hope of a reunion for them.

"Are you done talking yet? I'm hungry," Henry said coming to stand in from of them with raised eyebrows.

"So am I, are we done talking?" Nate asked grabbing Henry and placing the little boy on his lap so they could both look at Serena and wait for her answer.

Serena looked at both of them, taking her time to regard their expressions for Henry's benefit before rolling her eyes and saying, "We're done talking, let's go get you food you little devil, both you devils."

"So what do you want to eat little man?" Nate asked hoisting the child up to sit on his shoulders, Henry squealed at the sudden movement but started giggling once he realized what his uncle's plans were. "I think I saw a hot dog stand somewhere here."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's get hot dogs," Henry said tugging on Nate's hair. Nate winced and Serena giggled and shrugged as if to say, 'you put him up there, you know the consequences', yep this was definitely like last year.

"Was momma right? Did you need to talk?" Henry asked when they were done eating and sat down with the ice-cream they got against their better judgment but Henry's puppy eyes were enough to make them forget all about the hyper that usually came afterward.

"Did your mom tell you to make sure we spoke?" Serena asked dubiously, she wouldn't put it past Blair.

"No, she told daddy," Henry said licking his ice-cream. "Daddy said that he was staying out of it but I think momma's always right so I made sure you talked."

Serena pressed her lips together and looked over her godsons head to meet Nate's eyes and he just laughed and ruffled Henry's hair, earning a grunt from the little boy, who immediately used the hand not holding his ice-cream to smooth his hair back down. "I don't even know why you're surprised," Nate said and Serena sighed, she really shouldn't be surprised, her godson was a talented little schemer at four, she was a little afraid of his 'talents' when he reached his teens.

* * *

Nate was tired from a long day at work, his head was starting to pain and all he wanted to do was collapse on his bed and not do anything for a week. Sighing he opened his door and stopped dead when he saw someone on his couch, he shook his head and laughed at himself when he realized that it was Serena.

She hadn't noticed that he'd come in yet so he took a moment to watch her and smile at how normal everything had become for her since Henry made them talk the week before, it was almost as if she wasn't married and she dropped by at random hours just because she was bored. Of course this just made everything harder for Nate, he had to keep reminding himself that it wasn't like it was before, she wasn't single, he was still in love with her but he had to pretend like he wasn't if only to protect both their hearts.

"You know one of these days I'm going to bring a date home and this is going to get really awkward," Nate said teasingly closing the door behind him and throwing his keys onto the counter. Serena jumped when she heard his voice but relaxed when she realized that it was Nate.

"Ha," Serena said with a smile, rolling her eyes and Nate pouted. "If you wanted to bring a girl here and actually had with one outside of work, I would know and then I would stay away, far, far away."

"I regret giving you and Blair keys," Nate mumbled, shaking his head and Serena laughed because she heard him. "Shouldn't you be home with your husband," Nate asked her glancing at the time.

"He's working and I'm really, really bored," Serena said twisting her mouth and staring ahead, as Nate shrugged off his jacket and pulled his tie loose.

"I thought his work kept him home where he could entertain you," Nate said with a smirk reaching down to tug at her hair, a habit he'd had when they were children and picked up again after they started spending a lot of time together.

"He has this dinner with these other writers and those guys are really old and stuffy and boring Nate, you have no idea," Serena said her eyes going wide as she described them, she gladly accepted the beer Nate had gotten for them from the kitchen and waited until Nate sat down before speaking again. "So I made up an excuse and here I am."

Nate looked down and blushed, hoping she wouldn't see the joy he felt when he thought of how she'd rather spend time with him than her own husband even though Dan was with some really really boring people. "S we've been practicing basically our whole lives to sit with the old stuffy boring people and act like they are the most interesting people in the world," Nate said with a chuckle thinking back to all the parties they were forced to attend growing up, the dances and the conversations and the questions that never stopped. "This is probably nothing compared to all those ridiculous formal dinners and 'parties' we had to attend with our parents, now those were boring."

Serena smiled at the memory of the adult parties they suffered through as adolescent teens, dressing up in her mother's dresses and putting on make-up with Blair, coordinating their colors so they matched the boys and smiling till their cheeks hurt, all the while hoping that the people there would just smile back and walk away and not start a conversation that they'd never get out of.

"Do you ever wonder if our parents sat around like this, drinking beer and talking about how much they hated the parties they ended up hosting?" Serena asked, twirling her bottle in her hand and Nate shook his head no.

"Nah, I think they were sipping on wine and scotch while they conversed on the subject," Nate said teasing the way their parents and teachers used to speak when teaching them, in the hopes that they would pick it up and Serena giggled, nodding her head because while her mother might have been adventurous enough to have beer, she has no doubt in her mind that Anne would ever touch it.

"I'm leaving soon," Serena said after a few moments of silence and Nate furrowed his eyebrows and looked at her confused. "Not for too long, less than a month maybe."

"What? Why?" he asked leaning forward in his seat.

"I need to check something out," Serena said and Nate gave her a disbelieving look.

"You're leaving for a month to 'check something out'?" Nate asked and Serena rolled her eyes it didn't sound like that when she said it but Nate had to make it dramatic. "What's really going on?"

"Nothing's really going on," Serena said sighing, Nate always knew when she had an ulterior motive, she just wanted this to be one of those times where he just let it go.

"Serena," Nate whined and Serena laughed gently and rolled her eyes.

"I think I'm going to need to leave for a while after I tell Dan about what happened the other week," Serena said and Nate's eyes bulged, he thought they were over this, he thought she believed him when he said it was a lie. "I wasn't going to tell him about that trip to the doctor's office but you said that you'd want to know if it were you and that's been bugging me."

"Oh," Nate said relieved that she was not speaking about his confession.

"And Chuck has offered me a position at Bass industries," she said and Nate chocked on his drink, making Serena laugh. "It's not funny."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that," Nate said wiping his mouth and clearing his throat. "What position?"

"I'm not entirely sure," Serena said looking at him and shrugging. "I just know that there are a few people he needs me to charm and since I'm such a charmer that shouldn't be a problem."

"At least now you won't be so bored," Nate said teasingly and moved quickly to avoid Serena's hand. "My apartment will be quiet again," he joked.

"Dan doesn't know yet," she said looking down and Nate couldn't say it didn't feel good that she told him before her husband. "I'll tell him tonight, I'll save the good stuff for the airport before I get on the plane."

Nate shook his head, "That's not going to end well," he said and she smiled.

"Maybe not, but then I'll be across the country and he'll have time to get over it," Serena said finishing her beer and getting up. "Thanks for the company, I'm going to go home and pretend like I've been really sick the entire night."

Nate laughed as she bent down and pressed her lips to the side of his head before leaving him on his own, he waited until she was out the door before smiling to himself, she was going to turn him into a hopeless fool.

* * *

**A/N : Oh my gosh guys Im so so so sorry for the absolutely long wait for this chapter and it probably wasn't all that grand either, so since the last time I posted I've started a new semester and I started working, its long hours and the pay is terrible lol but it feels good to be earning your own money**

**I've been writing sentences down during my breaks and coming up with ideas to meet the word count I try to set for every chapter and its been a slow process and I apologize for that but just know that I hate unfinished stories with a passion and I will do everything I can to make sure that this story is finished, I also don't want to rush it and intentionally end it stupidly so you guys may have to wait for the chapters but please be patient with me**

**I have another idea for a OTH story that's been eating at me as well so I've been jotting down idea's for that and a new NS story and between all that and this story my muse seems to be getting very tired lol **

**Im sorry for the wait, I hope you guys liked this chapter, thank you so so so much for all your kind reviews, I love reading each and every one of them, please review and let me know what you think of this chapter and who's still reading hehe **

**Until Next Time (^^,)**


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